Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Surviving

I guess that is the best that I can say for myself right now. I’m surviving. I’m coping. It has been three months. The shock is starting to wear off somewhat, but it still hits me out of the blue sometimes and it is still incapacitating. I am fighting off deep dark depression. I have kept it at bay for the most part but it sneaks up on me sometimes and it is difficult to fight off. Jonah is the joy that keeps me going.

He is truly such a blessing. When I feel like completely checking out and hiding from the world, he is what brings me back – I don’t want to miss out on any time with him. This time is so special. He is changing every day. He’s so big. And so smart! And still absolutely beautiful. And he is so much fun now! He’s walking and trying to talk. He’s very into trucks and cars and is completely obsessed with books. He is constantly walking around with a book in his hands coming over to push himself into our laps to read the book to him. Mostly he likes looking at the pictures and turning the pages – reading the actual words on the page is optional. He is truly amazing. I just wish my mom were here to see him…

3 comments:

Ms. J said...

I am glad to see you posting again - I have been thinking of you, and check in with your blog every couple of days just in case you need some support.

hope548 said...

I'm glad you're hanging in there and hope the healing begins soon. Thanks for updating.

Anonymous said...

me too . . .

E