Monday, December 8, 2008

One Year

Wow! Jonah is a year old! This year has just flown by. It feels like just yesterday that we got the call and headed to San Antonio to meet our son, and yet a whole year has gone by. And it has been amazing. Jonah is truly the best thing we have ever done. Being a mother is everything I thought it would be and more. And different than I thought it would be and yet not. It is easier in some ways than I thought and harder in other ways than I could have imagined. I always knew that the love I would feel for my child would be like none other but I never knew I could love anyone this much. He is so so wonderful. And sweet. And fun. And beautiful. And funny. He makes me laugh which makes him laugh which makes me laugh...

We kept his birthday celebration small - just us and my parents. Jonah is an amazing eater so far so it was no surprise to us that he took right to his cake. There was no messing around. He knew just what to do with it and he ate bite after bite. In fact, we ended up taking away half of the piece to keep him from eating all of it!

Jonah is crawling and into everything. He's the kind of baby that goes straight for whatever is dangerous in any room you put him in. He loves electrical outlets and can sense an uncovered outlet from a mile away. Anything and everything goes into the mouth - sand, leaves, dirt, small pieces of plastic, dog food - if it's on the floor, it's fair game. He has just started pulling up to standing in the past few weeks and it's quickly becoming his new favorite trick. He particularly likes to try out all his new moves in the bathtub which is a somewhat hazardous affair. Needless to say, I make sure to get his hair clean and everything else is mostly just washed by the friction of the water (don't tell me if this isn't really possible) or a passing attempt at a crawl-by wash cloth.

We are doing great. I am happy in my job (not sure if I've ever been able to say that before). It's not really the job so much as my schedule and the people I work with. The organization I work for is still mostly run by self-important assholes but since I'm only part-time (can't say enough how much I LOVE this fact!), I don't have to interact with most of them very often. I'm in the office two days a week and work another day at home (split between two days and dependent upon Jonah's napping etc.). The people I interact with on a daily basis are great and I love being home with Jonah the rest of the time.

Now that Jonah is a year old, we are starting to think more and more seriously about the next child. To be honest, I think I had already started thinking about the next one the moment we got Jonah home (the downfalls of being a planner). I am definitely not ready for another baby right now, but I definitely want another one before too long. We have always said that we wanted two children and even though we've discussed the possibility of just having the one since he was so hard to come by, we are in agreement that we want two.

While in a way the thought of starting the whole process over again brings me stress, I can already tell that this will be a thousand times easier than the first time around. We still have four frozen embryos and plan to give a frozen transfer another shot. I don't have any real expectations of it working but it's worth a try since we have them. And if/when that doesn't work, we'll adopt again. I actually believe that if we gave it enough time, I could get pregnant. We know of know physical reason (other than the fact that my tubes are now tied!) that I can't get pregnant and I have technically been pregnant 3 times. But, I don't know how much work it would take - if it would require multiple attempts at IVF, donor eggs, etc. And for me, it's not worth it. So while there is still a part of me that will be sad to never have experienced pregnancy, I am also really excited about experiencing another adoption. I love thinking about the day we got the call about Jonah. It was so unbelievable and exciting and scary and wonderful. So although I'm not quite ready yet, I know I will be soon!